Monday, May 3, 2010

Dog, The Brownie Hunter

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Man, cutting brownies is so difficult and time consuming! It is almost as difficult as brain surgery, or watching a J Lo movie!"


Well, fret no more! Introducing the Perfect Brownie Pan. It's the pan that makes sharing and cutting brownies as easy as Paris Hilton on a Tuesday afternoon!


All you have to do is stick the magic insert into the middle of the delicious brownies and voila! Perfectly square brownies, every time.

I have created a step by step tutorial of how easy the Perfect Brownie pan makes life, in comparison to a regular, old, lame brownie pan, that probably wishes it could jump of a very high oven ledge, to it's death.


First up, we have a regular, plain, boring brownie pan. We'll call this the Jennifer Aniston of brownie pans.


Look how difficult and time consuming it is for me to cut the brownies!! It took me at least 30 seconds to cut these! How can people be expected to spend that kind of time and energy?!? 30 seconds of cutting brownies is 30 seconds I could be spending ignoring my family!


To make the perfect brownie, we need to first start with the making the brownie batter from scratch. Only the best and freshest ingredients should be used. If you can't whip up brownie batter, a souffle, or root beer, from scratch, while wearing pin curls, 4 inch heels, and a dress, don't even bother calling yourself a woman, or a human being. (I will not confirm nor deny if I am even wearing a bra in these pictures.)


We also always practice safe, healthy baking in the kitchen. Brownie batter contains raw eggs, so to prevent salmonella poisoning, you should never eat it raw. Or at least with a spoon that is smaller than your head.



Carefully remove the brownie pan from the package.


Don't forget to read any and all warnings on the packaging. I was planning on sending my 5 month-old niece a plastic bag bouquet for her crib, but it's a good thing I read the warning! And not a moment too soon! I guess I'll go with a steak knife baby mobile instead.



Next, spray the pan, and the divider, with cooking spray. Spray it a lot. No, a lot more than that. Seriously, keep spraying! You want to use so much cooking spray that Al Gore does a PBS special on why you are the reason there are now two holes in the ozone. Not only does this pan make delicious brownies, but it also enables me to continue to meet my goal to destroy the earth. Perfect Brownie Pan, indeed.


Next pour the batter into the pan, and add the divider. You can then play a game of Squares with yourself, to guess how many more days it will be before Miley Cyrus announces she is pregnant with Justin Beiber's baby (Baby Meiber). My guess is 41.

Cook the brownies according to the directions on the package recipe in your brain. Also, make sure you burn yourself at least once when removing the brownies. It makes for a more complete experience.

Here is the finished product!



Remove the divider, after the brownies have completed cooled, and pull the removable bottom from the pan.


You now have the perfect brownie!




And by perfect brownie, I mean brownie so hard and chewy that you can substitute it for Mentos, gristle, or the piece of gum that McGuyver would use to plug a hole in a submarine, and save the world.

Now, it is a possibility that I could have overcooked the brownies, but considering how exceptional I am at making hard boiled eggs, I am blaming the result on the brownie pan.

So, after my experience with the brownie pan, I going to refer to it from here on out as The Imperfect Brownie Pan, or the Mischa Barton Thighs of Brownie Pans.


However, all is not lost. I discovered that the brownie pan divider is the perfect accompaniment to your Green Jello with Carrots potluck dish. Now, I didn't want to be a stereotypical Mormon, so I also added some pineapple to the jello, to shake things up a bit. I think people probably thought I was an excommunicated Mormon, or a Jehovah's Witness.


Oh, and don't mind the fact that there are ice crystals on the jello, or the top half of the dish is frozen. Crunchy, frozen carrots really add to the overall uniqueness of the dish.


And if anyone says that a monkey, or Jessica Simpson, could manage to make unfrozen jello, I will turn my brownie divider into a nun chuck and decapitate your blog's head. All is not lost with The Perfect Brownie Pan.

215 People Who Really Wish They Had a Snuggie:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 215   Newer›   Newest»
Emily said...

How cool is that! I mean me being first! And the brownie thing!

Cherie said...

I have seen that around and think it is kind of a crack up!
I could never use it though as I prefer the Ooey Gooey middle of the brownies and not the edges and with this pan you get all"edge" pieces which is probably why it was so hard to bite through!
But in reality we only get brownies around here if the batter makes it to the pan at all...SRSLY - I love raw eggs!!!!

Carolyn V. said...

LOL! I have been up nights wondering how to cut my green jello salad (not to mention those nasty hard brownies). Hooray! =)

Jerilee E. said...

My 7 year old son has been a walking commercial for this brownie pan for about 6 months. Now I can show him this and say 'hey, it ain't so great'.
Having at least 2 kids who are obsessed with infomercials is a sure sign that the Mom of the Year award is ALL MINE.
One asked for SpaceSaver bags for Christmas. Need a review for that now...

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

*snort*

And you call yourself a Mormon! What kind of green jello has pineapple!

Okay, so I've never even made green jello. Can I still consider myself a stalwart member of the church?

Questionable.

I applaud you for getting the brownies in the pan! I tend to eat about half the batter before realizing I should cook then.

brainella said...

My husband keeps telling me he's going to buy one of those so I'll cook more brownies. I'll have to show him your post. :)

Then again, I really want to make these killer brownies. I might need the pan for this...

Machen said...

Why aren't you on those infomercials? WHY???

Amy R. Nelson said...

Hilarious! Never have I seen such detail poured into making brownies from a mix, I mean from a recipe in your head!

Mel Fraase said...

Wait, I'm still giggling about the Green-Jello-Carrot dish. There are so many old ladies still bringing that dish to pot lucks... perhaps you should be sharing that recipe.
I HATE brownie edges, the gooey middle is the best part and that "perfect" pan destroyes them!!!! I mean, IF my brownie batter makes it to the pan at all ;)

Jocelyn said...

the metal divider acted like a heat conductor and thus overcooked brownies!

Really you look more lutheran than Mormon with the pineapple in the jello...

Salt said...

It's funny that you mention it, because I often times think of how difficult and time consuming cutting brownies can be.

That sad Jennifer Aniston brownie sure does look delicious though!

Jennee said...

Yum, I really want a brownie now...and a perfectly cut brownie would be even better!

Brandy said...

omg please tell me that makes all the edges chewy! I LOVE the edge of brownies.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I'm craving brownies now. A lot.

Kristina P. said...

Brandy, it makes them really hard and chewy. Like you have to chew over and over. Not good. :( Even the middles were overcooked.

Riddle Girl said...

OK-I love the "Let Kristina Try It" segment. But the thing that made me laugh the most was Baby Meiber! I can just picture it! Yikes!

purejoy said...

dude. only you blog what i am thinking.
i totally need this brownie pan. how can be expected to cut straight lines in my brownies??
thanks for the tutorial. i'm out the door heading to as seen on TV!!

Annette Lyon said...

One problem with the brownie pan: the perfect brownie is much bigger than those little squares.

Duh.

Rocketgirl said...

Okay, so I am the most suggestible person on EARTH. My husband lucked out there. I will do almost anything, or at least WANT to, if I've seen a commercial for it. It's Pavlovian, really.

So last Christmas the family is sitting around the family room, playing and watching TV, when this commercial comes on. I was MESMERIZED. As soon as it was over I turned my head to my husband and said IN UNISON with my 3 year old mini-me of a daughter - "Can we get that??"

He looked at us in horror. There's TWO of us now. And then he said no. Jerkface. I'm not showing him this post, and I'm gonna get it anyway!! TV said so!!!!

Alisha said...

I'm not keen on that pan. We're pretty particular on the brownies... as in my Dad has always stolen the middle brownie because it has no edges. I do love the faces, though, lol.

whitey said...

Aw Jello the staple of life! I have a funny story about jello one day I should share it (if you write it for me so it will be funnier!)

Mae Rae said...

giggle giggle, excommunicated...ha ha that was funny. I have had Butter after me for at least three years to get this EVERYTIME i make brownies. Now I have a blog to show him how yummy they come out. Oh and btw...funny thing, I was reading and a miley cyrus song came on just as I got to that part.

Garden of Egan said...

I have green jello in my food storage. I am such a total Mormon!

I hope you were enjoying the brownies. I hope the dental bill from breaking all of your teeth isn't too much. You did go to the dentist didn't you? I would hate to have you post a picture of your cute self without your front teeth.

It's so great that you can endorse such useful product. Thanks for putting your life (and dignity) on the line.

Anna See said...

Too funny! You are really taking an walk on the wild side with your jello modifications.

Mrs. Organic said...

I can count on one hand the times I've made jello over the past 20 years, does that mean I have to turn in my Mormon card?

You need to try Kado's brownie cutter.

the fowlers said...

okay, i want it more now. probably just because brownies are involved.

Kristin said...

You have conviced me that all things infomercial are not perfect.

AlliE said...

Hum. I just wanted to say I always make perfect brownies from scratch (read box) without the use of some sort of premade square device. (cause I eat what makes it into the pan with a spoon, right out of the pan.) :-P

I am also known for my perfect breakfast oatmeal, which quite often comes in cute little containers with the word "Starbucks" scratched out. :-P I'm awsome.

(Once I entered a brownie making competition and won! Bad part was my husband made the brownies. heh. He's awsome. I just picked the recipe. From a Star Wars cookbook. nice, huh???)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

So I was totally going to make fun of you because you said "nun chucks" which I thought was hilarious because everyone knows they're really nuMchucks and can you just picture the image of nuns flying around in the air?
But then I looked it up and I was actually wrong, so I'm a dork and apparently I've been saying numchucks wrong my entire life. Luckily, I don't have many conversations about them or I might be too ashamed to show my face in public again. Anyway, yah, special brownie pans are stupid, but clearly not as stupid as me.

Amber said...

I don't like jell-o. I think my husband wonders whether I really AM a Mormon or whether I have been faking it all these years. I think I will allow him to live peacefully in ignorance.

annie said...

I got one of these for my birthday - I hate the thing!

Cheeseboy said...

I always preferred the underrated Courtney Cox of brownie pans. And now she is the cougar of brownie pans.

Frau said...

Awesome pan!! I want one!!

Kristin said...

Would you be offended if I said ewwwwwwwww? I cannot deal with chunks of anything in my Jello. It's a condition I've had since I was a kiddo.

Barbaloot said...

I really could've used one of these when I made brownies yesterday. But hey-you forgot to put a few m&ms perfectly spaced apart on top of your brownies. What's that all about?

And also: Baby Meiber? Please no. Ew-that's just gross!

Kristina P. said...

Stephanie, that is funny, because I thought the same thing until I met my Karate teacher husband. He made fun of me before you did, so I changed the error of my ways.

Alison Wonderland said...

That is a fantastic product because seriously, who has the time to cut brownies? In fact, i think it's the best product since that thing you stick to the inside of your dryer so that you don't have to put a dryer sheet in EVERY TIME, who has the time for that? Now it's like the laundry does itself (except for the pesky separating and putting in soap and moving it from the washer to the dryer and folding...)

I'm just so thankful to live in a time where there are so many significant labor saving devices.

Kim said...

Have you seen the brownie pan that's shaped like a maze so every piece is a deliciously crunchy edge piece. It's like these people can read my mind.

Lori said...

The plastic bag bouquet had me in tears.

MommyJ said...

My sister just got my Mom an all edge brownie pan... but it isn't this one. I like the edge pieces the best, so this pan might work for me. But like others said, that means I would have to actually bake some of the brownies instead of just eating all the batter.

Krystal said...

Jennifer Aniston... oh you crack me up... and I love the baby Meiber too... lol... I have to say though, that contraption looks like a pain in the butt! At least it is useful with jell-o. Who knew you were SO domestic?! Can't wait to see what's next :)

Liza said...

I love your As Seen on TV reviews! I have been very curious. I wonder what the Mario Lopez of brownie pans would look like? Too, too funny.

Eva Gallant said...

I so want a fudgy chocolate brownie now!

Kristina P. said...

Kim, I have seen it. I don't like the edges! I like the soft, gooey middle.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I'm thinking that anything of value or worth inventing was invented a long time ago, because we keep coming up with useless crap like this nowadays!

Writing Without Periods! said...

You had me at brownie. I love brownies.
Mary

Connie said...

Ooooooh, be still my beating heart!!!! Sugar, that's a mormon's dream...or maybe nightmare. I want to be known as the woman they don't ask to bring ANYTHING to a potluck so maybe this will help me out a bit.
;-)
xoxo,
Connie

ForeverRhonda said...

I have that brownie pan...in the box. I was going to try it out but I'm not so sure...

FYI I love the Gators snuggie! I am thinking I need another snuggie in which I can support my favorite college team!

Danelle said...

There are plenty of reasons why I would NEVER buy this, but the number one reason is because I don't have a dishwasher and HELLO! a simple butter knife is so much easier to wash than that tic-tac-toe-gone-mad brownie beast thing. Besides, sometimes, since I am lucky and I don't have a husband or kids to share with, I just skip the knife and leave my fork in the pan to reuse at will...fewer dishes for sure, that way!

Hilary said...

Too funny. I suspect that the brownies disappeared despite how they turned out.

DeNae said...
This post has been removed by the author.
veronica said...

See, the problem here is that you say to wait until the brownies have "completely cooled". Who does that? At my house I'm lucky if I get the timer turned off and the oven mits off my hands before the brownies are long gone!

DeNae said...

I am terribly concerned that this brownie tool is much too divisive. If I'm understanding the concept correctly, each individual "brownie" is actually a separate cake all its own. That means you wind up with a pan full of "edgies". As a devout "middlie" - i.e. one who mows through all brownie pans like a mole, magically leaving the edges untouched and the entire center empty - I feel far too marginalized by this product. What's next, the Pudding De-skinner?

Kristina, I'm frankly surprised that you would promote this Brownie Pan o' Hate. You've hurt my heart today. You really have.

(I even had to delete my first comment because of all the typos caused by tear-blindness.)

Kristina P. said...

Veronica, I learned the hard way. Believe me, the second they came out, I tried to remove the insert, but sadly, they got all mushy and sticky!! Sob.

And DeNae, seeing that I am not a physicist, I did not realize they would all be edges. I would never have done anything to hurt you.

NIKOL said...

We gave this pan to a coworker for her birthday last month. It was basically just an attempt to get her to bring baked goods to the office more often. So far, she's only brought in brownies ONCE! Some people just have no sense of gratitude.

blueviolet said...

So, I'm gonna have to chalk this one up to a worthless piece of crap. And I'm referring to your brownies, not the pan. I kid, I kid.

Dale Kemp said...

Ooh Ooh! Now do it with butterscotch brownies!

stewbert said...

Huh. I bet it took you as long to spray the insert as it would to actually cut the brownies.

I love chewy edges, but also the middles. I'm an equal opportunity brownie eater. Which might explain my weight.

I still have to tell my daughter AND myself "no" when I see this infomercial.

Kasi said...

What would I do without your reviews of infomercial merchandise?

The Blonde Duck said...

I can never cook brownies either. They're always raw in the center.

T said...

I never eat green jello OR brownies (I know, take away my recommend AND my ovaries... I don't deserve either) (seriously, I don't really need the ovaries anymore)

I was going to get the pan for my sister... but I guess I'll go with the one that looks like a snake instead!

CountessLaurie said...

Okay, I am from the East Coast (although my parents were mid-westerners). I have never had a vegetable in my jello. Fruit, yes. Vegetable no. This doesn't even sound good. Are you telling me there are millions of people eating jello with vegetables in them?

And you wonder what is wrong with this country???

hellomynameissusan said...

So I'm probably the worst mormon ever since my jello comes in little handy dandy serving sizes & none of it's green! Let alone w/carrots. *g*

Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

So, what about all of us that hate the edge pieces? I really hate edge-piece brownies, so really, this pan may be the worst invention EVER. Even worse than the solar-powered flashlight I found over the weekend.

Totally not kidding about the flashlight, either.

Jo said...

Why the infomercial world has not hired you to be their replacement spokesperson for Billy Mayes is beyond me! You sell it gurlfriend! Amazing. I will be sure to go right out and buy one. The clean up part looks like it would be the best part of the whole thing!

Sheri said...

Mmmm brownies! I just bought a mix that is gluten free! I'm so happy I saw it in the store (no gluten is really VERY hard to not eat) lol Who-oo!

Jessica said...

I'm so glad you reviewed this product. In my house I am usually to "marketer's Dream" IE- I want everything I see on TV, billboard, or hear in radio. However, this time it's hubby who wants the pan - he likes the edges. I prefer the middles.

Lobbie said...

Is it just me, or do the carrots in the jello look like larva?

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You didn't really put carrots in but forget the raisins and the thick layer of mayo topping it?! Then it really isn't *TRULY* a Mormon Jell-o. Sorry kiddo--try again!

Busy Bee Suz said...

That is so goofy. :)
I will not be able to forget about the jello situation for a while...ewwwww!!!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I cannot LOOk, much less comment on that Jello stuff.

Now, the brownies!? REAL brownie eaters dont cut them. We just reach our hands in there and grab. NO need for knives.

Tiffany said...

Hmmm I've yet to make a jello/carrot/pineapple concotion for a ward dinner, yet, I better find out if I'm exed yet, then again I'm not bold enough to put carrots and pineapples in the same dish, maybe bananas and carrots but pineapple, wow that's spicing things up!

Saimi said...

Loving the whole divider thing. My brownies always stick to the knife making it impossible to cut.

I'm with Jocelyn, I think it does act as a heat conductor so maybe take the brownies out a little sooner and Whoa La, perfect brownies ready for consumption!

Write Chick said...

What the? Is it just me, or is my family the only one to know you only divide a brownie pan into fourths, and I mean, how hard is that?

The green jello with carrots, on the other hand should be split into sixty-fourths.

Either way, the brownie pan is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Kristina P. said...

I discovered there are some disgusting jello dishes out there, with cabbage and mayo. Blech.

foxy said...

Somehow I'm not surprised that you tried this. And what liars!? I mean, really, inedible perfect brownies???? COME ON.

joni&dallassill said...

Haha!! Baby Meiber!! Love it!! I can't believe I was wasting all of that time cutting brownies when i didn't have to!! What a shame!
Hey, next you should try the "shake weight"!! I saw it being advertised right next to the as seen on TV neckline trimmer, so It must be an amazing product! :)

Aunt of 14 said...

As easy as Paris Hilton?! BWhahahahahaha

*choke* what? Carrots in jello? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!

Great idea about jello in that pan though, I wish I thought of it.

Seriously, carrots in jello?

Scrappy Girl said...

I am a gooey brownie lover too so I don't want all those hard edges...wait a minute...I am on a diet so I can't have brownies anyway...

KC Mom said...

Seems there are a few people who don't know the culture of carrots in jello.
However...if something is as easy as Paris on a tuesday...then I'm game. And I will neither confirm nor deny whether or not I can tell if you are wearing a bra.

TechnoBabe said...

I haven't had jello in so many years.
Your lengthy description of the perfect brownie pan had me laughing too much. Remember, we older women can't sneeze, cough, or laugh without a little pee escaping. Thanks for reminding me of how old I am! And thanks for the warning. I won't buy this pan now.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh my God, you crack me up! I've seen the pans where you wind up with all ends on the brownies, but i'd never seen this. Thank God for progress, cutting those damned things was such a struggle!
Frozen jello? Been there.

Just SO said...

Cutting brownies is so dang hard! Now I need to save up my money for this pan...

Wonder Woman said...

I think the worst part about the brownie divider is waiting till they're completely cooled. What's the point of making brownies if you aren't going to eat them warm and gooey?

p.s. I use a pizza cutter for my brownies.

myimaginaryblog said...

We have this Jell-o recipe we got from my aunt where you start with layer of frozen raspberries and fresh pomegranate, cover it with raspberry Jell-o, then after it sets up you cover that with cream cheese mixed with sour cream or cream cheese mixed with whipped cream (depending on whether you want to go the dessert route or the "salad" route). Or is it sour cream, whipped cream, and cream cheese? You really can't go wrong. We make this for Thanksgiving or sometimes Christmas dinner and everyone loves us.

But I don't think I've ever made green Jell-o, so I'm still working on my Mormon credentials.

(Oh, was I supposed to comment about the brownie pan?)

annebabe said...

mmmmm, brownies. so warm and tasty. I recommend saving money and skipping the perfect brownie pan and going with the fork method. As in, its me at my table, eating directly from the pan of warm brownies with my fork.

I had an aunt who would order whole pies at Frontier Pies and eat them in one sitting with her fork. The kitchen staff would come out and watch sometimes. Yeah, she's my hero.

Rudy Rukus said...

Bwahahahaha! I always wondered how it would work. Thanks for testing it for me so I don't have to make that purchase!

Kris said...

chunky green jello.
squiggly wormy larvae things.
have to escape.
don't let it get me.
make it go away.

MAKE IT GO AWAY!

sara said...

Do you get these products donated in order for you to provide a review for the company? If so, I think you should ask for a refund. Or at least make them pay for the brownie mix, I mean the ingredients you used.

Kristina P. said...

Sara, sadly, I spent money on this. :(

Pearl said...

Too bad you spent money on this. I just wanna know why you didn't share?!? Hard or not, brownies are yum and dipped in milk are soft again!

Mandi said...

I actually really wanted one of those! Now I know to never buy anything until you blog about it so i can see if it is good or not. dead serious. you have saved me so much grief and money buying dumb stuff! thanks!

The Boob Nazi said...

I reeeaally want some brownies.

Sarah Lindahl said...

OMG, you are HILARIOUS! Green jello and CARROTS? Really? Yuck.

Jessica said...

And now I really, really want a brownie.
They soften up when dunked in a Slim Fast shake, right?

Kristen said...

Oh you did not buy that! My kids are infomercial freaks and Wyatt was telling me about a pan that cuts the brownies into "just right" squares for you.... funny.

Kristina P. said...

Mandi, I like to think I provide a public service.

Kristina P. said...

Sarah, yep. I don't understand it either.

Omgirl said...

My biggest beef with that pan is that it is WAY too small. I like making 25 brownies at a time so I can eat 5 at each sitting and be done in a day. First a normal healthy breakfast of Captain Crunch, then brownies for 2nd breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch-dessert, afternoon tea, and dinner-dessert. What on earth would I do with only 12 brownies??

Little Lovables said...

I actually REALLY LOVE my brownie pan (only wish it was larger)! I got it for Christmas (because I hinted to everyone I wanted one) and love it. You do have to take it out of the oven about 4-5 minutes earlier, but they turned out perfect, when I usually cut 'regular' brownies, they turn out an awful mess.

But not as awful as the ex-mo jello. Ewwwwww.

Little Lovables said...

Omgirl... you are a total Hobbit!!!

love it

A Dentist's Wife said...

I have often pondered on the menial task of cutting brownies. ON. MY. OWN. which is why my husband and I have trained a live-in midget to do the daily task (yes, we eat brownies daily - don't judge).

What I love more than the directions is your face in actually attempting to consume the uneatable squares.

LOVE IT!

Me (aka Danielle) said...

I saw an info-mercial recently and totally thought of you. Figures though, now I can't remember what it was!

Kristin said...

I have alwaya wanted one of these, but have been so worried that by brownies would not be the right gooey new in the middle. I like crunchy edges and soft middles. I think you finally sold me. Thanks for all you service for the for those of us out here who aren't quite sure if we are willing to try these things or not.

Crafty Christina said...

Mmmmm, chocolate salmonella on a spoon! Yum!

I don't like the brownie edges either. But that 30 seconds of self cutting just seems like too much work. I say eat the whole thing with a fork.

Ann said...

That takes too long reading the instructions...lol. Sure glad I don't cook anymore.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I can't believe you are knocking that!? FOr those of us who are ubber lazy this is perfect! Seriously!

LOL that green jello looks disgusting...

One Cluttered Brain said...

I agree with Annette. The perfect brownie is WAY bigger than that square...
:))

I beat you on commenting at MMB today. Braden posted. I still can't believe I beat you, you super FAST blog commenter!!!

Can't wait to meet ya at CBC!!!

Michelle said...

Nothing like a nice hard brownie for a midnight snack.

Kristina P. said...

Alexes, I know! I was actually having to work. Boo.

Erin said...

We don't have cable, but our antenna picks up Qubo, which is an all-cartoon, all-the-time station. My kids love the shows on it, but they have the most RIDICULOUS commercials every 15 minutes - they are all infomercials, including cash 4 gold, those hangers that include like 6 hangers in 1, and these brownie pan thingies. Although, every time I see that stupid commercial, I DO crave chocolate. Hmmm...

Katie said...

I don't think I would ever buy that....I love the soft middle part of the brownies. Yumm. I love that it is so practical.....just wait until your next ward activity. You will totally impress them with your jello skills.

ladyfi said...

Definitely the brownie pan's fault! Your cooking skills - like your humour - are impeccable!

Mainly a midwife said...

Nice! I like how big it makes the pieces. Yes..now that's what I'm talkin' about. Nice big brownie chunks with a glass of cold milk.

WhisperingWriter said...

I have been SO tempted with Perfect Brownie. I pass it in the stores and am always all, "Do I need this?" I think I might.

Saimi said...

I appreciate your comment on my post today! Thanks :)

Eternally Distracted said...

I say don't bother with the brownie cutter... just get a spoon and eat straight from the tin - One big slice!

Sara said...

I refuse to buy this product based on the simple fact that I love gooey middle brownie pieces. I do not want a perfectly formed four crusty edge brownie piece. :D Great blog!

Melanie J said...

I don't care what you say, I'm marrying mine. Right after I liberate it from Walmart.

AS Amber said...

I love all the pictures!!!! Everyone knows that a perfect brownie requires no special tool. Including an oven. Straight outa the bowl for me!!

Dingo said...

I thought the making of green jello with veggies inside was some joke. Who makes green jello? Who puts things inside jello? After reading the comments, apparently this is custom in some places. I weep for humanity.

slommler said...

Ha!!! Glad you did this very important review of the brownie pan...you did it with such professionalism. And after your review I will pass on getting this thing.
Green jello with squiggly carrots? Seriously?
Really? You made that?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

JennyMac said...

totally noncompliant brownies! It had nothing to do with you. lol.

Kristina P. said...

Dingo, it's totally a Utah Mormon thing. It's sort of a stereotype. For the record, I have never made it before, in my life.

Queenie Jeannie said...

You are a hot mess in the kitchen! :D

Of course I say that with 100% love and admiration!!!!

Dani said...

your cooking skills blow my mind. and I really hope you were wearing a bra.

Sarah T. said...

I can always count on you to tell me if I should buy these or not. This one actually seemed like a good idea!!

You are too funny. Jennifer Aniston of brownie pans. Nice.

annie valentine said...

Apparently I am a woman and a human being. Eat that Jennifer Anniston. No really, eat that. The whole pan, if you're up for it.

peewee said...

seriously?? WHO PUTS CARROTS IN JELLO? WHO?????

peewee said...

also your jello thingie doesn't even have cool whip or marshmallows...I'm pretty sure your temple recommend is going to be revoked.

val of the south said...

I prefer the Brownie Edge pan myself - all edges - YUM!! And for the record Betty Crocker is my fave brownie recipe ever!

Mikki said...

Ever grateful for your reviews Kristina! I've been wondering about this handly little tool, because, well gosh! It really is SO hard to slip a knife through a pan of brownies.
So, did you ever perfect your egg boiling technique?

Kristina P. said...

Peewee, I know. Sob.

Savvy Gal said...

Oh it is sorta cool. Great review of the brownie pan. : )

Karen said...

Who actually BAKES the brownies?

That just seems silly.

Hopers said...

I think that all brownies are perfect in their own, special way.

See Mom Smile said...

That is as funny as the instructions on the Pop Tart box. That jello makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Homer and Queen said...

I what the pan that turns the whole pan of brownies into the crunchy edges. Could you do that one next?

Kristina P. said...

Queen, that is this one. And you can have all the nasty edges!

elesa said...

I want to see the tutorial on how to turn the brownie pan into a nun chuck. Cuz that could really come in handy.

Brenda said...

Personally I like being in control of my brownie size. If one row equals a serving, so be it.

littlemansmom said...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....brownies (drool)

Rebecca said...

That jello picture makes me sick. No offense. =)

jill said...

now, where was this contraption last week when I ate half the pan of brownies while trying to cut it in wedgies because that gooey chocolaty goodness kept getting stuck to the knife and who could resist...not moi!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

It's going to be inevitable that I buy one of those pans. Especially since Princess Nagger was with me when I was out shopping on Sunday and had me thisclose to putting one in my cart.

I'm betting she'll convince dada to get me one as her mother's day gift to me.

I'll be sure to make jello. With carrots and pineapple and ice in your honor. ;)

Lechelle said...

Right away I noticed your biggest error: you used Betty Crocker Fudge brownie mix. You missed it. You have to try the Betty Crocker Low-Fat Fudge brownie mix. I know the low fat makes it sound scary and gross, but really they taste so good and are the perfect texture, you must try them. T overcome the scary "low-fat" label, just eat the whole pan or or a carton of ice cream. They really are the best tasting brownies I have ever had and the low-fat label is used to keep them secret so their other brownies will still sell. but dont use that brownie cutter thingie on them, just use a spoon and eat them out of the pan like us normal people.

p.s. your jello creeps me out and gives me scary grandparent flashbacks.

Terresa said...

I love the bit about ignoring your family for 30 seconds. Why do you think I make & eat so many chocolatey baked goods?????

Bake on!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow, Kristina, I am so very grateful for the tutorial on Brownie making. You brownies do need a layer of minty frosting and another of chocolate, though and then they would be perfect.

Kristina P. said...

Lechelle, if you steer my wrong, I will come after you.

kado! said...

I wish I could love this product...but then you don't have any of the soft yummy middle pieces...That SUCKS!

Connie said...

Why don't you have a cooking blog!?! Or do you under another name?

gayle said...

I would get one of these but I am dieting :)

Steph said...

ummmm... you have ruined my whole life. I wanted a perfect brownie pan almost as much as I want a persian kitten named mrs bigglesworth.

Tiffany said...

I dont eat sides or corners on cakes or brownies, only the middle for me, so when I saw the commercial for this I knew it was not a device that I would ever own.

Carissa(GoodnCrazy) said...

I love green jello. The end.

Big Mama Cass said...

I seriously just peed my pants with laughter.

You should post a diaper warning on your blogs from now on.

"If you are reading this blog and have a weak bladder, you may want to consider adult diapers. Or a towel."

Just sayin.

Mary said...

am I completely out of the loop, but when did carrots in jello become the norm?

Mr. Stupid said...

Wow. This was amazing. I would like a brownie right about.... now! And a perfectly cut one...:)

Found your blog from a comment. Have an awesome day!

gigi said...

Do people in Utah really eat green jello and carrots??? That is hospital food!!

carma said...

wow - what an incredibly time saver. That could literally add 2.5 minutes to my life which is the equivalent of the time spent cutting brownies thus far this year. Wait a minute!! I haven't even made brownies.

And you can bet I won't be making jello with carrots. Who came up with that idea ;-)

Kristina P. said...

Gigi, it's a time honored tradition here. Green jello with carrots.

charrette said...

I'm pretty sure I laughed at least 48 times during that post. No more. It had to be more. You are on a roll today, girlfriend. And if you're really nice to me, I'll send you my grandma's recipe for tunafish jell-o. (Not making this up.)

Liza said...

It really is cruel that you posted this and I have no brownies in the house.

Braden said...

Wait--you're supposed to slice them? I'm confused. I usually just eat the pan with a spoon. Like a bowl of ice cream. You don't slice that-you just eat it. Right?

Heather of the EO said...

I kind of want one.

And the carrot thingy? EEEWWW.

merrianne said...

awww man! and i was gonna buy some of those too....
shoot.
glad you were the guinea pig for this one :) thanks for the review... :)

Sarah said...

My daughter bought me one for Christmas because in her mind I just had to have one!

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

Hmm. I'm pretty sure I could use that cutter for a few other things too. I could put one in my sock drawer because then my socks wouldn't touch each other. Because ew.

Tiffany said...

I'd take one of those brownies. Fo sho.

CailinMarie said...

I adore that line "The Jennifer Aniston of brownie pans" snicker snicker snicker

seriously? said...

OK this ruins all my quietly sneaking of a slim row of brownies if they are perfectly cut for me. I DO NOT like this idea.

seriously? said...

UNLESS....I eat three perfectly cut brownies...then I LOVE IT!!!

Kristina P. said...

Heather, that is my gift to you at the CBC.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You're probably way too young to remember this, but that brownie cutter looks a lot like the old ice cube trays of my youth. Seriously. It cracks me up and so do you.

xo

Amander said...

I finally got on a computer at home so I could check your blog!

The thing I think I'd like about that pan is that it would make all the brownies edges.

And also, did you decide what you want for your birthday treat? I'll have to bring it Tuesday because of the training on Wednesday.

Julie Wright said...

People MAKE brownies? Seriously? I thought brownies only came from the bakery . . .

Kristina P. said...

Amanda, Oreo Truffles!!! Delicious!

Leca said...

I have almost bought that thing several times and then I think-- "really, I can't cut my own brownies?" Glad to know it has a nice cozy home with you.

Anne said...

I love all your celebrity references in these posts. Mischa Barton thighs. Lol!!

And I had no idea how many people were edge haters. I will eat all their yummy edges.

Anne said...

Oh, and what is the Mario Lopez of brownie pans?

amelia said...

Now I REALLY want a brownie. Jell-o - not so much :)

Sabrina said...

I have one of those brownie cutter thingies. Have not used it yet! You are my inspiration.

What is up with the Jello? creepy!

Kristina P. said...

Sabrina, they are a Utah, Mormom tradition. It makes me so sad.

Missy said...

This is so funny! I almost bought one! Love the jello!

Higgs Happenin's said...

Yum. that jello looks tasty. .

.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

That cutter actually looks functional. I'm impressed. And extremely hungry now for a brownie.

Sarah T. said...

Your boyfriend, Joel McHale, is a secret hottie. Holy s**t, his body is amazing!

YogaGal in the NW said...

Why must you torture me with brownies, inedible or otherwise? At least you jolted me out of my obsession with that nasty green mess. EWWWWWWW. I'm sure something on my q-tip today matched that jello.

Thanks for making me crave brownies so badly I want to snort Betty Crocker dry mix in my pantry.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hahahahahahahaha

Oh my goodness! You always leave me rolling. LY!!!!!

Kristina P. said...

YogaGal, I'm sure brownie mix is better than Smarties!

YogaGal in the NW said...

Kristina,

YOU are the only smartie that makes me snort regularly...with laughter!

;-)

Heather said...

LOL I just can't spare 30 seconds out of my day to cut my brownies. What a wonderful product.

Counselormama said...

You are hilarious! Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

April said...

I try not to love you...but I can't help it.

Cal said...

I pass by those everyday that I am at walmart and want to buy one. hmmm I think that i just may

Katie's Dailies said...

My son while watching his Saturday Morning cartoons LOVES to make fun of this pan! I love your humor. Can we be friends? Please? : )

Canadian Blend said...

The title reminded me of the night we found a bunch of baggies under a bed. Crumbs told us they'd held brownies from a few days before ... and then it all came together -- the many trips the dog had made up and down the stairs one afternoon -- his hyperness and need to go out more than normal that night -- and the fact the brownies didn't seem to last that long despite the fact nobody would admit to eating too many.

Dione said...

At my grandma's funeral last year my husband loaded his plate up with what he thought was plain jello with a nice thick layer of whipped topping...

It turned out to be mayonnaise.

My name is PJ. said...

That was so funny I read it outloud to everyone in the room!

That pre-determined brownie size isn't at all realistic.

Where can I find one of those steak knife mobiles??

Holly said...

I only like the corners out of the brownie pan anyhow so this wouldn't help me. Well, that and the fact when I make brownies they are just for me so essentially the entire pan is one big brownie and no knife or cutting is needed.

I was a bit taken back by your jello, at first glimpse it looked like some sort of green body of water with koi or other skinny, little orange fish swimming in there. Thankfully you provided clarification.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 215   Newer› Newest»