Monday, May 24, 2010

Making Sparks Fly


I don't know if this will come as a surprise to anyone, but I am not a Nicholas Sparks fan. You know, the guy who wrote A Walk to Remember, Dear John, The Last Song, and Confessions Of an Heiress. OK, that last one is Paris Hilton's memoir, but I'm sure Sparks had a hand in making that time she lost one of her Jimmy Choos comparable to losing a limb to a rabid chimpanzee/Iraqui IED.


Sparks is the master of making your crappy life seem like the plot line for the next Disney kid's movie, while also making Danielle Steel books sound as emotionless as a Geometry textbook. Has anyone actually verified that he does indeed have a penis? I think that could be a job for Mario Lopez's next Extra segment.

Let's take a look at some of the challenges and hardships that creep up in his books/movies.

***SPOILER WARNING!!***


(Don't email me and tell me how I ruined your life for telling you these things. You can, however email me and tell me I ruined your life by making you look at a naked Hoff cake.)



1) A Walk to Remember- Leukemia, death of a spouse



2) Nights in Rodanthe- Death of a spouse, divorce, death by mudslide (Although, let's be honest, this is the best thing to ever happen to Richard Gere.)



3) Dear John- War, autism, stroke, cancer, death of a spouse



4) The Last Song- Divorce, arson, Miley Cyrus, stomach cancer


Crossing my fingers for a book about a 75 year-old widow who falls in love with a Wolf Boy, who has to move away to the circus, and their starcossed love affair. Best seller written all over it.

When someone tells me they are having a bad day, rather than empathize with them, I like to tell them to go and watch a Nicholas Sparks movie, and stop whining about their life. It's really what makes me a good social worker.

But even after all of that, I have something to confess. I love The Notebook. Yes, this Notebook.


It's something I have confessed to my bishop on many occasions. I am so ashamed. If it's on TV, I can't.not.watch.it. I am thinking about starting a Notebook Overwatchers Anonymous group. I know there are more of you out there!

For those of you who aren't familiar with the storyline of The Notebook (I'm looking at you, Satan and Rosie O'Donnell), it's about Noah and Allie, who have a brief summer romance when they are in high school. Noah is a blue collar kid, while Allie comes from money. What an original storyline!


Allie's family forces her to leave Noah, her one true love, and he later goes off to war. While he is gone, Allie gets engaged to another man, but reconnects with Noah and has to choose between her head and her heart. I just used 16 tissues, writing up that summary.

So, after watching The Notebook at least as many times as I have thrown plastic bags into the stream near my home, in an attempt to destroy the earth (meaning, a lot), I realized that I needed to know that Adam loves me as much as Noah loved Allie. It's a good thing I am totally shallow enough to make him prove his love to me.

And after this little experiment, I no longer have any doubts. Here are our four real-life Notebook moments:


1) Noah writes romantic love letters to Allie every single day, for a year.


Adam sends me sweet, loving text messages.


2) Noah rebuilds his father's old house to look just like what Allie wanted, in an attempt to win her back.


Adam draws me a picture of a house.



3) Noah takes Allie on an intimate canoe ride, in the middle of hundreds of geese and swans.



Adam takes me on a paddle boat ride, in the middle of about 20 ducks and seagulls, one of which tried to bite my finger off.

And finally,


4) Noah professes his love to Allie, after the canoe ride, and they make out in the middle of a rain storm.



Adam professes his extreme annoyance for having to recreate this scene, while using a water bottle to simulate a rain storm. (Notice that the bottle is only pointed on me.)

So, there you have it. If that isn't a true, movie romance, I don't know what is.




Next up: Working on Adam telling me, "It wasn't over, it STILL isn't over!", when he goes to work in the morning. I am guessing it will take about 236 days for that to happen.

219 People Who Really Wish They Had a Snuggie:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 219   Newer›   Newest»
The Hillbilly Banjo Queen: said...

That post totally made my day. And my Monday needed to be made.

Sheri said...

LOL I love The Notebook too. Have you read the book?

gigi said...

What a way to start a Monday morning!! Thank you!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

LOL! Love it!

I have to admit I'm impressed with what Adam will do for you. Now that really IS true love.

CaryManda said...

Oh how I love thee!
I'm sitting here eating my oatmeal (laughing my guts out) and wishing my dear husband loved me enough to take me on a paddleboat ride with a dead goose in our midst.
True. Love.

:)

Jennifer Richins said...

I SO love the Notebook. Haven't seen his other movies, but at least he got one right.

Becky the Design Lady said...

I hate Nicholas Sparks and his sappy little books. You can't drag me all the way through a story and then kill off the hero.
Bad Form!

At least he didn't do that in the Notebook. So maybe it's not so bad.

Jerilee E. said...

I can honestly say that I have read NONE of those books. Nor have I seen any of the movies.
EXCEPT The Notebook. I resisted seeing it for a long time, but alas, now I own the DVD and still watch it every time it's on TV (thank you ABC Family).

Also- I don't think enough people use hand-drawn pictures on their blogs...

Katie said...

This totally made my morning! You are so lucky to have such a great husband who shows his love for you in so many Notebook like ways.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Holy Canoli, Batman, I can't believe I am in the first 200 comments!!! This is a banner day for me as I made it as first commentor on several other blogs today--but that was nothing compared to this! Isn't the Notebook the movie about the old people who die next to each other? And she has Alzheimers? And their kids are dweebs? And don't you have a speech to make today or something? Good luck--I'm sure you'll be fab! Wish I was there!

Rudy Rukus said...

Thanks for the laugh on a not so laughing day. Can you believe this snow? You really are going to have to bring me a snuggie to the CBC. I am seriously going to freeze! haha

Rudy Rukus said...

And wow I was #9 today woo hoo!

andreamichelle said...

thank you for this post, i was having a bad day and you made me feel better. I loved your closing statement about trying to get him to say "it wasn't over, it STILL isn't over" when he leaves for work. that cracks me up. :)

Rebecca Jo said...

OH MY GAWWWDDDDDD - the dead goose had me SNORT from laughter!!!

I will say - Nicholas Sparks BEST book is his autobiography - "3 weeks with my brother" -I bawled like a baby at his life story!!!!

Kasi said...

You forgot death of a parent on the last song.

I really need to make out in a rainstorm. I think it would make all my problems go away.

Amy R. Nelson said...

My favorite movie, and my husband's least favorite. He says whenever I watch it I come away with reasonable expectations. Like the scene where she wakes up to a note and follows the trail to her art studio, my husband says "Guys in real life don't do that."

Sigh. Reality bites.

The Hollywood Memoirs said...

Wow. I've done everything I can to avoid anything Nicholas Sparks but after reading your post, I'm thinking I should get my hands on a copy of The Notebook.

T said...

...so, either my name is Rosie or Satan because I've never seen or read the Notebook... I remember TRYING to make it through Message in A Bottle, maybe...

(hmmm... can't decide which is a worse name of those two choices... could it be... Satan? - hey that was HILARIOUS in my funny church lady voice!)

foxy said...

If you start up a group over Notebook Overwatchers, I'll totally join it, because I confess... I can't not watch it too.

Write Chick said...

Hahaha...okay, I laughed out loud, and that isn't a good thing because I work at a school and my office is in the school library.
I too hate depressing books! If you think he is bad, then just pick up a Jodi Piccoult. You'll want to slit your wrists within minutes.
Loved the picture of your husband squirting you while you kiss. Awesome!

Riddle Girl said...

I'm gonna have to totally try your making out in a "spray" storm. Maybe it will bring romance back to my life!

And hey...I could totally tell that it was one of your posts last week on Mormon Mommy blogs even before I got down to your picture. You have a definate style! And I LOVE it! That was a good post too!

hellomynameissusan said...

I avoid Sparks books like the plague! Cause I mean, really. Aren't they? Of course they're really along the same lines as Jodi Piccoult books too.

No More Piccoult books for book clubs! Down w/ Piccoult books in book club!!!

(I'm feeling like a rabble rouser this am) Someone made the comment that you have a speech this am? Good luck!!!

InkMom said...

I haven't seen The Notebook . . . I boycott all Nicholas Sparks anythings on grounds of principle. So I'll take your word for it!

Lori said...

First of all, I can promise you that there is a Sparks-free home, and that includes the Notebook. Second, Adam really needs his own blog. That text is funny!

NIKOL said...

I hated the Notebook, but I still cried when I watched it. I don't have a heart of stone!

Barbaloot said...

Richard Gere dies in a mudslide? I may have to watch that movie after all...

I hate Nicholas Sparks movies and books. So sappy and lame. And I'm sorry, but I think The Notebook is the worst one! Allie is SUCH a selfish, horrible person. Hate it. Loathe it.

Untypically Jia said...

Our fights totally remind me of the notebook!

Mandi said...

no no no! you warned me of the spoilers. I KNEW it would ruin the shows for me to find out what happens. yet I couldn't look away. sigh. I always do that

Kristina P. said...

Barb, I KNOW!!! I have an illness. I don't know what to do. Sob.

Melinda said...

I love the Notebook too, when my husband and I both saw it the first time, we BOTH cried! And I totally asked him if he loved me like that! haha By the way, I think the movie is totally better than the book. I don't think I'll ever say that again. :)

Krystal said...

ok, seriously... I love the Notebook... d@mn that ABC family channel for airing it at least once a month... I have it on DVD, but have never even opened it, because it's always on TV... but I agree with the rest of the post, all of his movies are the same and it all sorta sounds the same after a while... the other thing I don't like about his writing is that every story takes place in North Carolina (though in the last song they changed the setting in the movie, but the book was written in NC... whatever). I didn't like that one so much. *sigh* now I think I will have to go home and watch the notebook... LOVE IT! If only I could find a guy half as romantic as Adam... what a lucky girl I'd be :)

zoo keeper said...

oh! oh! you forgot "Message in a Bottle" i actually asked for my money back after that movie. Nicholas Sparks blows!
P.S. i actually had a super lame friend who after watching The Notebook left her husband and five kids to hopefully reconnect with some missionary that once came to her area. True Story

Queenie Jeannie said...

Oh gosh, I HATE him!!! He doesn't believe in real love or happy endings. Probably doesn't have ANY sex, ever!!!

That's why he didn't write the Notebook!! He must have stolen it or something!

Love the recreations you did, lol!!!

Kristina P. said...

Krystal, the funny thing is that I literally have never seen the first 15 minutes of the movie. I have only seen it on TV, and always catch it in the same place.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Didn't he also write one about a guy in a nursing home that makes out with his alzheimer's wife? I think I started to read that one on a plane once. That was the last Sparks novel that I tried. On purpose.

And I want you to know that your make out in the rain pictures literally brought tears to my eyes. I have not laughed that hard since Saturday night when my friends sang "I shot the Sheriff" at a karaoke place. SO funny, KP. I might have to rent The Notebook. I bet it will make Matt get hives.

Zina said...

I thought The Notebook was about Alzheimer's. (I guess it still could be. You didn't say it's not.)

Maybe I should watch it. Or maybe I should listen to Barb's warning.

Danelle said...

Seriously, my eyes are a little spark-ly right now, because that post was so stinkin sweet and romantical. For real...Adam is a keeper. I love what you two goofballs are willing to do in order to entertain yourselves and all of us readers. Fantastic. I'm totally jealous.

Machen said...

Haven't seen it...but I felt the spirit in your post.

Danelle said...

Okay, I just read your e-card...and SERIOUSLY! How in the world is two and a half men still on tv? I have very low moral standards and I am easily amused, and even with those credentials I have never understood why that show is successful. Blech! I just heard grosso Charlie Sheen signed another 2-year contract for it's continuation, as well. SOmething is wrong with the world. I wouldn't doubt it if they said Mario Lopez was going to be replacing Duckie sometime soon. Done.

Kate said...

i love the spray bottle rain shower. I agree with the 'i hate mr. sparks' attitude. (notebook included) It would have been ok if they all died or caught some form of leprosy (i like a little action)before they got all old and senile.

ps, i am cranky today, can you tell?

Jessica G. said...

You hate me, don't you? As if the snow in late May wasn't bad enough, now I have to get all choked up over a movie that STILL makes me cry. The ending if worse than that scene in Dumbo when he visits his mom in jail...

Rebecca Irvine said...

Proud to admit I have not seen any of these movies. Maybe I should watch one just for laughs.

the Lola Letters said...

You are honestly my soul mate.

I hate (HATE!!!!) Nicolas Sparks!

If I wanted to feel like a sobbing pile of poo at the end of a movie, I would just replay home movies of my dead cat...or something. His work is crap.

I could totally write a horribly depressing novel. Who couldn't? You make up a lovable character. Throw in some kind deeds, a lot of "attachments" and reasons for why it would be awful for them to die, then a passionate romance, then a devastating illness, then a bunch of emotional cheap-shots like a hurried (but terribly meaningful) teenage marriage at the church where the girl's mother was married and where she had always dreamed of getting married and blah blah blah...and voila!

You have a horribly depressing, un-original best seller on your hands. Yay!

This post was fantastic.
I hope you can talk Adam into saying your morning phrase...that would just be dreamy and such.

the Lola Letters said...

The Notebook was bearable though. Even though it still had old people magically willing themselves to die at the same time.

At least they were old.

Hope said...

I must confess to having loved the Notebook when I watched it with a bunch of my girl friends. My fiancé met up with us as we were finishing up and all crying. I think he's still convinced, from that moment, that we're all nuts.

~j. said...

I love you.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I've never seen a Nicholas Sparks movies. Looks like I'm really missing out. ;o)

Jillybean said...

What I want to know is why didn't anyone die in the Miley Cyrus movie???

And thank you for explaninig The Notebook to me. I haven't seen it.

Yes, I live under a rock, why do you ask?

One Cluttered Brain said...

Ok, we can be friends, you like at least ONE Nicholas Sparks book.
Although you make a pretty good point, most of his books END up depressing and sad.

EXCEPT for The Notebook.
They do end up together in the end.

A perfect ending indeed. She doesn't have her memory in the end, but she writes her story out so Noah can read it to her.

AHHH!!!
I love it.

And your version of some of the scenes in The Notebook.
Sorry about the water in your eye...
:)

Savvy Gal said...

I enjoy reading his books. : )

Kristina P. said...

Zina, it is also about Alzheimer's. Allie has Alzheimers when she is elderly, and her lover retells their story to try to get her to remember. Not maudlin at all.

Wonder Woman said...

When I saw that you were baggin' Nicholas Sparks' novels/movies, I thought, "She better not touch The Notebook." You have no idea how it warms my heart that cynical, sarcastic Kristina loves The Notebook.

Nicholas Sparks may not have a penis, but YOU have a soul. I am so glad.

Cheeseboy said...

Yep. This was pretty much awesomeness. I don't know how I could ever top this post.

sara said...

I'm glad you reminded me of all the good parts of that movie and conviently left out the part that makes Nicholas Sparks so special - he always has some tragic way to kill off one or 2 of the main characters and make the movie or book completely depressing. Didn't he do Message in a Bottle and City of Angels too? Basically any movie that makes you want to change the ending is a Nicholas Sparks movie - or one that he's had a hand in somehow.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I confess, I loved that movie as well.
So, what dumb shows did Adam get to delete?

Christibear said...

I have to admit to seeing two of these, Nights in Rodanthe and The Notebook. I was so ticked watching Nights because he died, I felt cheated out of the happy ending I was expecting. I'll admit to being an overwatcher of The Notebook, I cry every time even though I know what's going to happen. (Sadder still is that I've actually been spoiled romatically like that) I'll try my best to avoid it during this highly hormonal pregnancy.

annie said...

Oh My Gosh Woman, you crack me up!
The best part of the movie is the deleted love scene - if that doesnt get your motor running, nothing will!

Poor Adam is all I have to say!

blueviolet said...

Your life is so much better than The Notebook could ever be!!!

Scrappy Girl said...

I am grabbing my purse and running to Walmart to buy a spray bottle! Great idea!

I don't know if you remember me driving back and forth past Nicholas Spark's home last summer taking pics...Yeah I got my papparazzo on...he's lucky I had not seen Dear John yet...or I may have threw a few rotten eggs!

Angie said...

oh my! LOL you make me laugh :)
I had NO idea that Adam was so incredibly romantic!!! I'm going to go by a spray bottle right now and see if my hubby and I can recreate that scene tonight!!

The Blonde Duck said...

I snorted cheese up my nose thanks to you.

Devri said...

LOL how does anyone top you! you da bomb wit da spray bottle. maybe Adam needs a blog to teach all our men! fo sho!

Emily said...

OMGosh, Kristina. I have tears in my eyes. It's all I can do not to bust a gut out loud laughing. But if I did, my husband who's working from home today, would ask me what's so funny...and he wouldn't get it.

Lara said...

I am embarrassed about it, but I would qualify to join your club. And I have the same feelings regarding the rest of Nicholas Sparks. Why can't I pass up the Notebook when it is on tv??????

Kathie @ Just a Happy Housewife said...

I've never read a single Sparks book or seen any of the movies, including The Notebook. It seems like a sappy girly movie which I don't heart one bit. ;-)

Salt said...

I can hardly believe that the author of The Notebook (which is magical) also is responsible for all of those other books/movies.

A Walk to Remember made me want to jump off a bridge. Miley Cyrus also makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Frau said...

Nothing beats the Notebook that was his best! Loved the guy in Dear John...

Saimi said...

Whew! I am so glad out of all the Nicholas Sparks movies, I watched the best one. Love the Notebook! I haven't read any of his books and have yet to see the above mentioned movies. Thanks for the spoilers, I don't have the desire to! Seriously, thanks!

I hate bad endings to romantic stories.

Steph said...

Your post literally made my day. Just goes to show what kind of crap day I must have been having. ;-P

purejoy said...

i agree. nicholas sparks is the new danielle steele. and his manhood is seriously in question. at least everyone in DS's books don't have a terminal disease!!

although i must admit, i'm a total sucker for the stories.

perhaps i should go to counseling!

Kristin said...

I must admit The Notebook is my fav., also my beloved grandmothers. She can't see so I would send her these books on tape to listen too and she would call and tell me I was the best grandaugter in the world.

Lynnae said...

OK, I didn't read your entire post because I haven't seen the notebook yet and I want to. However, my family always teases me because I saw the wolf boy and his almost as wolfy brother at Target once and they don't believe me. But it's true.
I wish I could have felt his face.

CountessLaurie said...

Well, h-e-double hockey sticks... I promised myself I would never ever read a Nicholas Sparks novel after Message In a Bottle, but you make me want to read The Notebook.

Face it, Kristina, you ARE living the Nicholas Sparks novel...

Kris said...

Can I assume that Adam re-creates his own favorite scene from The Notebook, by pretending to have Alzheimer's so he can watch wrasslin by himself? If so, then logic dictates that you must read US Weekly (or TV Guide) out loud to him daily to remind of your true love.

Higgs Happenin's said...

I now want to recreate a quality movie scene with my husband. Thank you. I love the notebook but probably not as much as you.

Jami said...

The whole post is amusing, but the squirt bottle gave me the giggles which has inspired my 8-year-old to kick me off the computer so she can watch "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs".

brainella said...

I'm of the opinion that any woman should be able to smack Nicolas Sparks upside the head whenever they see him. I ran out of beach lit one vacation and The Notebook was given to me by my roommate to read. I still haven't forgiven her.

Missy said...

You are too funny! I do not any chick flick! So glad he stepped up and proved his love!

Garden of Egan said...

I used 16 tissues just reading this. It is so wonderful to know that you and Adam are real and true and living love story.

Ahhhhhh!

I look forward to hearing you profess that love at CBC.

Amber said...

My husband and I go for a walk to our local duck pond once a week. There we swoon over dead ducklings and screaming children. Is that similar to the Notebook's theme??

angie said...

I am not a Nicolas Sparks fan either. I liked the Notebook, the movie. Perhaps not as much as you, but I still liked it. :)

Jenn said...

L-O-V-E the IM! If there was water in my mouth, it'd be all over computer screen.

Plus, it reminds me of something my husband would say to me.

Big Mama Cass said...

I am severely mad at you right now. That video at the end totally made me tear up. RUDE!

I love that movie too. But haven't seen any of the others other than the walk to remember one which didn't leave an impression at all. {shrug}

But the water bottle reenactment was friggin perfection! LOL!!!!!!!

Kristina P. said...

Amber, just like it. So romantic.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

OMG, you are hysterical. I am so not a big Sparks fan. My theory would be : no penis.

Sarah T. said...

I think I say this every time, but this is honestly my favorite post of yours. Too, too hysterical.

I love Adam in the tree, with a gun. He is clearly a man's man. Who likes pedicures sometimes.

Sarah T. said...

Oh, and I'm in the top 100 comments this time!

KC Mom said...

You are one lucky woman!

The Boob Nazi said...

ahhahahahahahahaha I love it. I don't understand why you didn't REALLY kiss in the rain. It's been raining for the last week! TONS OF OPPORTUNITIES.

Mrs. Organic said...

Exactly the same! Except maybe Adam needs to kiss you while flexing and wearing a rain drenched see-through shirt.

Then, exactly the same!

Lisa said...

Loathe NS. Will not watch nor read. Ugh.

Adam....way hotter than any of the NS leading men. :)

Needed the laughs today. You kept a mama from jumping off the roof. :)

Kristina P. said...

Julie, I wanted to post it today, and so we really only had this week, and all the times it rained, it was at night, so it wasn't really going to work.

Mayhem and Moxie said...

I would have NEVER have pegged you for a softie, Kristina P. But, I LOVE it.

In case Adam doesn't tell you today, I'll fill in for him.

Our blog love wasn't over; it STILL isn't over.

Claire Marie said...

hahahaaaaaaaaa i HATE nicholas sparks! But I cried like a baby at the notebook! Dammit! That picture with the squirt bottle is hilarious.

The Damsel In Dis Dress said...

I'm severely disturbed by how you listed "Mylie Cyrus" as one of the bad things about a movie, along with divorce, stomach cancer, etc.

**snicker

Lorie said...

Remind me to tell you about the time we ALL went to see The Notebook (ALL of my inlaws...aunts, grandparents) and the let me (not knowing what the movie was about) sit next to my husbands grandmother whose husband had Alzheimer's.

leigh anna said...

so my bff, robin, owns a mattress store in new bern, nc. (where the notebook is set) sparks buys his mattresses from her. here are the funny things i know about him

he drives a bently and his license plate says "novelist" (like a bently wouldn't give away the fact that he had some money, and in new bern, no one has money!)

he bought his children the cheapest mattresses she sells, but bought him and his wife the most expensive one she sells.

he has green shag carpet in his house.

.....although i'm not sure if he has a penis, i'm sure some of that info will help you on your journey of adam telling you it wasn't over! :)

Kristina P. said...

Green shag carpet? Why am I not surprised? And have you noticed that pretty much all the movie posters have that same kissing in the rain pose? I suspect he has something to recreate the rain at his house, just so he can live that pose.

Kristin said...

There is NO shame in loving The Notebook! Gosling is a work of art!

Me (aka Danielle) said...

You crack me up!

I have to admit..Nicholas Sparks is one of those that I could take it or leave it. He's had a few I like and some I hated.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Now that's true love when Adam helps you recreate the scene - even if the water bottle is only pointed at you. Priceless. And Hysterical. ;)

Crafty Christina said...

I like the Notebook too, though it's shameful to admit. At least I didn't admit to liking Milli Vanilli as a child.

Melanie J said...

I think Nicholas Sparks may rank below Stephenie Meyer for me.

Connie said...

Poor James Garner! Just when he thinks he's got her back, she freaks out on him! Talk about walking on egg shells!

I'll have to admit, The Notebook is the only Nic Sparks movie I've watched and I started reading one of his boooks and couldn't get past the 2nd chapter.

Great re-enactment, btw. Passionate kisses, steaming up the computer screen!

jill said...

I loved that movie, except for the end...too corny...but then again we need to remember it's a "Sparks"!

Tiffany said...

SO I LOVE Nicholas Sparks, but because I LOVE the movie of The Notebook, I cannot bring myself to actually read The Notebook, which is such a weird thing for me.... But its like I don't want to ruin that gut wrenching feeling that I get when I watch The Notebook, all this talk about The Notebook makes me want to watch it.... Hmmmmmm
You are hilarious, thanks for the laugh!

Mary said...

The Notebook is the ONLY sparks story I like...the rest are depressing with crappy endings!

Alisha said...

LMBO! Hahahaa! I love The Notebook. It's great. I like the movie better than the book, I'm evil like that. I think it's a standout compared to the rest. I do, however, like A Walk to Remember. It's sweet. But for the most part, its formula, formula, formula. You know already before you pick it up what's going to happen inside: you're gonna go "aw!", you're gonna cry, and then you're gonna say "Rassin frassin! Nick Sparks! You made me cry for NO reason!" Yeah, done that. And threw the book.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

OMGosh the picture of you guys kissing with the water bottle... classic!

That was funny!

Pearl said...

You are so hilarious! And seeing those pictures of what's his name (I forget because when I see him my heart stops and I wish I was that girl--who is evil because she is kissing him and I'm not) make me want to go watch the movie again and again and again. Kids? They don't need to eat. Husband? Am I married?

Megan said...

LOL!!!!! I love The Notebook. I need to find me a man who will make out with me under a squirt bottle.

stewbert said...

wonder what my husband would say if i tried to make him recreate that scene.

i've only ever seen about the last hour of the notebook. next time it's on tv, you should tell me, so i can watch the whole thing.

Kristina P. said...

P.S. I hope that no one thinks I actually read any of these books. I do have self respect.

pook555 said...

Okay, I have never seen The Notebook, but since I know the plot, and it seems the least depressing of his stories, I will now have to watch it.

BUT The Husband brought home The Last Song for me to read (him: "You like these types of books, so I bought it for you"), and that was one heck of a depressing book. And the thing is that you cry even though you really don't like any of the characters in the book!! Plus, the last few pages of the book (after the story ends) are by NS bragging about what a great writer he is...grrrrr....

I nearly died laughing about the dead goose in your picture btw!!

Lechelle said...

Dear Kristina,
I love you.
I always believed A Walk to Remember was one of the worst stories ever told. It made me want to vomit. I left the Dear John movie thinking it was a waste of time, and the Last Song movie made me want to straighten Miley's teeth with my fist.
But the Notebook I loved.

Sara said...

Despite the fact that I have never seen any of those movies, I laughed out loud at your replay of the movie. AWESOME!!! haha!

Amateur Steph said...

Ahh those sweet loving text messages. They melt my heart every time. :)

Deb said...

I have only seen a few minutes of The Notebook, and I nearly killed myself. Maybe the beginning isn't as depressing?

Deb said...

Oh, and Adam is now Sven's hero. He totally wants to hang out.

Rachel Sue said...

My MIL and SIL kept trying to get me to read Nicholas Sparks. Luckily, my good sense kicked in, (that and I had already seen a Walk to Remember) and I wasn't tempted for a moment.

I borrowed The notebook from a friend but I never could bring myself to watch it.

ladyfi said...

Ah, Adam really does love you!

And how does the Notebook end? Do they get back together? Don't leave me hanging like this...

lisleman said...

thanks - that's about all I need to know when my wife talks about one of these books with her mom or a sister-in-law

Terresa said...

The squirt bottles in our house are usually pointed at our new puppy. Who, sadly, knows nothing about Nicholas Sparks. Maybe we could include that in our puppy training?!

rach said...

Not a fan of Sparks myself. I got the stink-eye for laughing out loud in A Walk To Remember... Ridiculous!!! I need to see the Notebook again ... I don't really remember it.

LaurieJ said...

Check him for a penis!! Haha!
I can't bring myself to watch the others but I LOVE the Notebook! The rain scene? Are you kidding me? Best kiss ever.
One year my brother was on a 'be good' streak and gave me this movie EDITED. I promptly threw it away and watched the rain scene on the original for 12 hours straight..
:-)

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Laughing, laughing, laughing!

WhisperingWriter said...

I know, a lot of Nicholas Sparks's books are depressing :/

But I do like The Notebook too. I tried kissing in the rain and it is not as romantic as it looks. A drop of water fell down my back, I screamed in Tom's face and well, the moment was sort of ruined.

Mikki said...

Guys love that movie too (well, at least two men that I know liked it)!!
I really do enjoy a good sappy Nicholas Sparks book. Go ahead, stone me now. :)

jineen said...

hello my name is satan. or rosie o'donnell, never seen the notebook
:(
regardless i am totally in on it if you want to hunt down nicholas sparks, i will hold him down while you peak under his dress

Tiffany said...

I love love love the Notebook, it was my first nick spark book ever that I read. I Cried from the beginning to the end. The Book is 10 times better than the movie too.

Funny post.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Am I the only person who's never read or seen a Nicholas Sparks book or movie. Sheesh, i gotta get out more.

And isn't Adam sweet to recreate that very romantic scene for you :-)

jj

Jen R. said...

When I have 2 shows recording on the DVR Jared get's so mad. One time I had two shows recording and left him home to watch the kids. He was not happy. He calls it locking him out. At least your hubby is sweet enough to ask first!

See Mom Smile said...

Love The Notebook too. But now it is a close 2nd to your relationship! See you this weekend!

UK Yankee said...

This is hilarious - I love your simulated 'rainshower' picture. THAT is true love - and maybe revenge for you hogging the DVR??

My name is PJ. said...

I'm not a fan of Sparks, Steele or Nora Roberts/JD Robb. I'm not a fan of heaving breasticle romance writers of any kind.

I laughed at this and I second it!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Once again....I get that way over do "belly laugh" (yes, there was jiggling involved) that I needed this morning.

Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday my friend!!!!!!!!!!!

Suzanne said...

AMEN! You think your life is bad? Read THIS Sparks book!
Honestly..I read the Notebook..but never watched the movie.
I love the spray bottle picture!

Kami said...

You are so so so so funny! I had a good laugh after reading this post. Oh geez, how funnier can you get really? I love the comparisons between the Notebook and your life, total awesomeness :D

Kristina P. said...

Jen, and I have TWO DVRs! Sometimes, both going at the same time! I know, I know.

Debbie said...

Well, I do believe that is the very first time someone has put me in the same group with Satan and Rosie O'Donnell. And it's not so bad. They keep trying to one-up each other but that's about it.

Lindzena said...

Ha! This is hilarious. I've never seen or read anything my Nicholas Sparks, but everyone tells me all the time I HAVE TO. Maybe someday. Doubt it.

Anne said...

I can't stop laughing. That picture of Adam squirting you in the eye is priceless. And the dead goose? LOL.

I too have a slight fascination with The Notebook.

bernthis said...

I refuse to read his books but perhaps and this is a big maybe and likely a definite, I will watch this film but like I said it's like so not definite even though it's for sure.

Braden said...

So did you ever do any Twilight posts before I was a regular blog reader? Because if not, your skills are just begging to take on that stuff. Great post. And very educational. I've never read his stuff but I feel like I really understand the essence of it now.

carma said...

I read one of his books once. It was so darn syrupy sweet with such a neatly tied up ending it made me want to yack.

Brenda said...

I haven't watched the other movies mentioned, but I did enjoy The Notebook. I also had no idea who Nicholas Sparks was until your post.

Christa said...

This is kind of hard to say, but I've seen bits and pieces of The Notebook and I just don't get what's so great about it. There. Wow! That felt good.

peewee said...

I am SO TOTALLY shocked that you're not the sentimental type> But I don't buy it. i just KNOW you cried at 'the cutting edge'

Quinn said...

Well, let's just be totally honest here: I can't watch "The Notebook" or talk about it because it leaves me in sobbing hysterics. My husband and brother-in-law found this out the hard way the other day when they asked, "What's 'The Notebook' movie about?"

Your love looks MUCH stronger than the movie love, though. Way to get you a keeper! ;)

Mae Rae said...

this was the best post ever...okay for today at least. I loved the notebook and hated his other books too. I get you, I really do.

Alicia said...

ughhhhh i'm not a sparks fan either...and the fact that there's a sparks movie with miley in it makes me vomit slightly in my mouth. that's pure torture right there. AND i have a confession...i've never seen the notebook. nope. not once. and i don't have the slightest desire to. is that weird??

MaryElla said...

I like Nicolas Sparks about as much as I like that Christmas Box guy. Barf. And I even liked the Twilight Series! (I know. We all have our dirty little secrets.) I did like the notebook though. But fyi- if you want to continue to like the Notebook- do NOT read the follow up book, the wedding. Painful.

MaryElla said...

http://www.thehighdefinite.com/2010/04/how-to-make-a-nicholas-sparks-movie/

Sunny said...

One of my proudest accomplishments in life is never having read or seen anything by Nicholas Sparks. I hope to keep that record until my dying day!

hotpants™ said...

I love The Notebook, but haven't seen most of the others. My husband sends me texts like that. Hahaha!

AS Amber said...

Gaaah! I did a whole comment last night and it didn't work!

Anyway, I've heard of this Nicholas Sparks person for a long time but, guess what? I seriously thought he was a singer. I had no idea he was a writer. None.

I freaking LOVE your reenactments of the Notebook scenes! Too funny! My fave part of the post, though, was Adam's text.

Tavis sent me one last night (from the living room and I was upstairs in the bedroom) that asked if he could stop recording The Bachelorette. Why don't these men know they're missing out on some GOOD tv??

Can't wait to see you this weekend!! H&H

wendy said...

You always get me thinking about things I never wondered about before --Like if Nicolas Sparks has a penis or not. Hmmmm.
I am ...for the most part...a fan
and I LOVE the Notebook
It is such a synopsis of my LOVE STORY
we fell in love in high school (although he was already graduated)
parents wouldn't allow us to be together -not for money or
"status" reasons, but for religious reasons.
we lost our virginity to each other (TMI)
He wanted me
He waited for me ---while testing other female companionships in the meantime *(he's not a monk)*
We got back together
I had to choose HIM
and I AM SURE WE WILL DIE IN EACH OTHERS ARMS
I am hoping

Amander said...

I hate The Notebook.

I'm sure that's why I'm not married already.

Kristina P. said...

Wendy, so true! I totally forgot you were in the real life Notebook. Tell me he took you to float amongst the swans?

gayle said...

I love Nicholas Sparks!! The Notebook was my favorite!!

Mel Fraase said...

Bwahahahaha! I can't do Spark's novels. I find nothing romantic about waiting for my husband to come back from war (or not). Yuck. Except I to secretly like the Notebook. I like your version the bestest!!!

Lara said...

Huh. I have never seen The Notebook, because I decided I hated Nicholas Sparks way back at Message in a Bottle.

Blech.

honeypiehorse said...

I think youre' totally right about NC being a woman. That explains everything! And i loved Adam's text message.

Mr. Stupid said...

Wow. This is such a sweet post. Well, I have not watched any of those movies!

JennyMac said...

HAHAHHA...I recently teed up The Notebook from Netflix again. JohnnyMac asked if I was joking. I should have brought it to Utah and watched it with someone who would appreciate it.

Michelle said...

Hello! I just happened upon your blog and absolutely love it! BTW, I completely agree about Nicholas Sparks...its out of control!

Jenny said...

My coworkers love Nicholas Sparks. And the Twilight series. Yeah.

I'm glad you're ashamed. I'm ashamed for you.

Also, anyone who thinks boating amongst the geese is romantic has never been near a goose. A goose will bite your arm off if it thinks food is involved.

See you tomorrow night!

Kristina P. said...

Jenny, I don't like to judge people or geese. I like to give them a chance.

Dione said...

Watched Dear John just last night... I'm now inspired to recreate the movie. Let's see:

I have an autistic nephew who could play the part of, uh, the autistic boy.

My son with Asperger's could play the Dad's part. Only, my son can NOT stop talking. And he collects Pokemon cards. Oh well.

I, of course, will play the part of Savannah and I have an ex boyfriend who admitted to dressing up in camouflage where he ran around in the woods and once stared down a wild dog.

Now, how do I break the news to John about his cancer?

Karen said...

I'm trying to picture you watching The Notebook without laughing through the whole thing.

Ash said...

Nicholas Sparks' books give me hope that I too can be a published author one day.

Crap sells. Thank the Lord for small favors.

LOVE "The Notebook."

Eva Gallant said...

Wow! That has to be some kind of record for number of comments. But no wonder! It was such a great post! Thanks for making me laugh!

Emily said...

UGH. David and I hate his stories. My all time hated movie, Message in a Bottle, was also based off one of his books. In the end, lovers are torn apart by the raging ocean and the man goes down with the ship.

DEPRESSING.

TechnoBabe said...

My foster sister told me about The Last Song this week. Her teen granddaughter read it and then my foster sis read it. She said it was great. I was looking up the book after I talked to her and didn't seem so interested in it. Kristina,what do you think of Charles Martin's writing? I just read Wrapped In Rain.

Synergy Girl said...

Ahhhh...The Notebook...!! That one almost got me in trouble once...you see...I had this "romance"...a guy I waited for while he was on a mission. We got engaged. He wanted to "make sure" it was right and decided to date...I left. Some years down the road...he wanted to reconnect, and I almost decided to meet him. That would have been a mistake...cause there would have been feelings there...and I am already in love...I didn't need confusion...he was confusion...needless to say, I found out that he drinks, smokes, and lives in a small town in Norther Nevada now...three things of which make me want to vomit in my mouth and swallow before I were to fall for that...!! BUT...I love the Notebook.
THE END

I Wonder Wye said...

LOL. Sparks is so over the top. I hate mauldin, too. Unless it's well done, like an old Douglas Sirk movie (magnificant obsession; it's a woman's world; an affair to remember -- though that was another guy...). Did he do Bridges of Madison County? that was pretty good.

elesa said...

I can't do Nicolas Sparks.

I can't bear watching people in relationships more meaningful and deeply romantic than my own.

Omgirl said...

Ahh....now it all makes sense. I had no idea who that Sparks guy was, or that he was responsible for all of those movies. But it all makes sense now because I (you better sit down for this one), hated ALL of them. Especially (brace yourself) the Notebook. I'm so sorry! I really didn't get it! I did love the last part. With the old couple. That almost made up for the rest of the movie. But not quite. Maybe the book is better. But in the movie, I just couldn't understand what they liked so much about each other.

Don't hate.

Omgirl said...

I should add, though, that your and Adam's version was AWESOME. I'd watch that over and over again. Especially the text he sent you. BRILLIANT.

Dale Kemp said...

The notebook? Really? And you make fun of my addiction to Grey's Anatomy...I'm so ashamed for you.

Love the text!

Kristina P. said...

Dale, the difference is that I have a uterus.

veronica said...

Nicholas Sparks just doesn't do it for me. But that picture of my boys in a suggie on your sidebar, well now, THAT is art!

rachel said...

Happy Birthday WAAAAAAY LATE! I am jealous of that cake :)

The only Nicholas Sparks book I have ever read is The Bend in the Road...

I kinda liked it...

Wait, was that just my self respect that ran by? sigh

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

One of the best posts EVER!

Oonafey said...

I too HATE Nicholas Sparks! Okay, well I don't hate him, per say, but I do hate the concept behind all of his ridiculously heart wrenching books. As if the world is not a sad enough place sometimes... Silly man.

Sabrina said...

I love the movie too! And i did really like the book. But that is the only book i've read by sparks. No wait, I read a walk to remember. But that's it. I swear!
Have fun at the conference. Wish i could be there. :(

Kristina P. said...

Sabrina, I don't believe in reading books without pictures, so I've only seen a couple of the movies.

Crystal Escobar said...

OMG, WOW, this is my first time to your blog, and I'm in LOOOVE :) You are hilarious!!!! I'm still laughing out loud about this whole post.
I'm coming back for sure!!! Just bookmarked your blog, and added you as a friend on facebook :)

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

We went to see the Last Song. Paul and I couldn't stop laughing while Savannah was in the middle ooohing and aaaah...what is the world coming to.

Rebecca said...

I hated The Notebook when I first saw it. Then I watched it again and loved it. Shameful. Why did I watch it again? Oh well. I think I'll go watch it for the third time right now.

And tell your hubby he should be lucky to re-create a wet t-shirt makeout scene! Hullo!

Erin said...

The water bottle is the best. That's love, true love.

Liza said...

So, I thought I commented on this post, but I guess not! This is too, too funny. Probably one of my favorite posts of yours. I am with you on the questioning if he has a penis.

Liza said...

Oh, and isn't this weekend when you are speaking at that conference? Good luck!

Monique said...

New here, but I have to say this is the funniest post I have read in a long time! I especially love the text msg.

Angela @ Nine More Months said...

Adam is such a great sport for doing that with you.

And I too, love The Notebook. But it's the only spawn of Nicholas Sparks that I do like.

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

Watching the notebook made me misty...it makes me misty just thinking about it. I'm not a fan nor have I seen the other movies, especially a movie with Miley Cyrus. She hasn't lived long enough to have the experiences of a life story, to act one out.

Sweet wishes,
Sara

Strawberry Shortcake said...

Oh how I have missed you! You always make me laugh :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha ha HOW do you COME up with this STUFF??? Never cease to amaze me.

KT said...

I like your blog. You're funny.

ForeverRhonda said...

I love Nicholas Sparks too. Both the books and movies. Also you have inspired me to make Tim prove his love. First I am going to pick my favorite romance, make him watch it and then recreate it. Obviously if he refuses then I know the extent of his love.

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