Monday, November 8, 2010

Celebrities R Us

Several weeks ago, I mentioned that I am speaking at Bloggy Bootcamp, thrown by the SITS Girls, in St. George, this upcoming Saturday. There are still a few tickets left, for those who would like a nice, relaxing vacation, all while playing "Spot The Polygamist" at the local Walmart.

To provide even more incentive, I am sharing a picture of the example blog I am using in my presentation.

Warning, Picture Contains Nude Unicorns, and May Not Be Suitable For Children.


Email me if you want a ticket! Or if you want to discuss how if a unicorn was a blanket with sleeves, it would be a Snuggie.
------------------------------------------

And in other good news, tonight marks the return of the funniest man on TV. And I'm not talking about Joan Rivers.


Conan O'Brien makes his triumphant return to television, on TBS. To pay homage to him and his tremendous sex appeal, I decided it was time for another round of Celebrity Interviews. Enjoy.


The most memorable gift I have received from a significant other was:








Julia Roberts said, "Diamond earrings."















Nick Lachey said, "A puppy."



















Paris Hilton said, "Gonorrhea."













The best party I've ever attended was:








Jennifer Love Hewitt said, "My sister's Sweet 16."
















Jake Gyllenhaal said, "My 21st birthday in Vegas."
















The Hoff said, "In my pants."












My saddest childhood memory is:








Matt Damon said, "When my family dog ran away."















Brad Pitt said, "Never going to Disneyland."
















Barbara Walter said, "Watching the dinosaurs die."










The one thing I want from Santa this year is:









Bette Midler said, "For my kids to be happy."
















Ben Affleck said, "A nice, long vacation."

















Justin Bieber said, "For my testicles to drop."












The most important person at my parties is:








Mariah Carey said, "The guest of honor."















Jason Bateman said, "The host."
















Lindsay Lohan said, "The urine sample collector."










I refuse to sing songs that:








Sara Bareilles said, "Have profanity in them."

















David Cook said, "Are filled with explicit lyrics."















Miley Cyrus said, "Sound good."











My favorite Halloween candy is:









Sandra Bullock said, "Snickers bars."

















Jude Law said, "Skittles."












Kody Brown of Sister Wives said, "Viagra."






I someday hope to teach my children:








George Lopez said, "How to make people laugh."

















Susan Sarandon said, "To make the best apple pie in the world."















Charlie Sheen said, "How to properly snort cocaine off a hooker."










You never forget your first:








Jessica Simpson said, "Kiss."

















Drew Barrymore said, "Legal drink."

















Larry King said, "Woolly mammoth ride."










And finally,

Something my kids could do that would embarrass me is:







Demi Moore said, "Get arrested."
















Kevin Costner said, "Make a sex tape."
















Michael Bolton said, "Listen to Michael Bolton."










152 People Who Really Wish They Had a Snuggie:

Jillybean said...

We don't have cable, so I'm going to miss Conan.
BOO!

Mae Rae said...

as always...hysterical!

Jillybean said...

Wow! I've never been first before.

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

Hilarious!!

Brenda said...

I needed a good laugh.

Jerilee E. said...

heheh... watching the dinosaurs die. such a sad memory for Barbara.

and HEY- I own the video tape of Michael Bolton's Time, Love and Tenderness. I'm not ashamed. How can we be lovers if we can't be friends???

Anne said...

Wow, I made the top 10! As you would say, Booyah!

These always make me laugh. I love the Barbara and Larry ones.

And the Charlie Sheen one made me LOL!

NIKOL said...

The part where it said "The most important person at my parties is" I read PARTIES as PANTIES.

I've been watching too much reality TV starring Bret Michaels.

Tom said...

This is my favorite feature that you do. Love the wooly mammoth comment. I'm also looking forward to Conan's return.

Melenie said...

Love it! I am so excited for Conan tonight. Even better that he's on at 9.

Kristina P. said...

NIKOL!!! Did you see that Bret apparently had an affair with Miley Cyrus' mom, and that's why Billy Rae filed for divorce? Pretty awesome.

andreamichelle said...

I love your celebrity interviews, they always crack me up.

andreamichelle said...

I love your celebrity interviews, they always crack me up.

Untypically Jia said...

Quite possibly my new favourite post of yours.

Carolyn V. said...

Woo hoo Conan! Love the celeb interviews (and most so so true). =D

Life As I Know It said...

I would love a ticket...but I live too far away to attend :(

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Is it just me, or did Jennifer L-H forget to wear clothes, and did Susan Sarandon forget to wear a really big bra? Just scrolling down through the photos is a lovely documentary of all that is wrong with our society today. How do they get paid so much money for being so wrong?

Saimi said...

Thanks Kristina, nothing like a good hearty laugh to start my day!!

mitch, pam and the rhoadants said...

Yay for Conan! And thanks for the shout out to Jason Bateman, my secret crush ever since my Arrested Development binge last year. Did you watch it?

CountessLaurie said...

I am officially "old"... I just don't get Justin Bieber.

Excellent interviews, as always!!

Just SO said...

I think that the Beiber probably wants an operation that will stop his testicles from dropping because when they drop everything's gonna change.

brainella said...

Were Larry King and Barbara Walters holding hands for the dino extinction? They both kinda scare me...

♫ Spasm ♫ said...

LOVE the snuggie dude :)

I will try not to take the David Cook song personally :) LOL... love that boy.
always funny.

Kim said...

Maybe I'm just way too tired this morning, but I've been giggling at the Barbara Walters comment for a solid 10 minutes. The funniest thing is when someone asks why I'm laughing, I can only squeak out something about dead dinosaurs.

Momza said...

Two Words:
Hysterical.
True.
Frightening.
Okay that was three.
But still.
Shoot, now I'm up to eleven.

Dixie Mom said...

Speaking of polygs...
Living in St. George has been an education.
Reading your blog though, has to be the most educational thing of all though.

hellomynameissusan said...

oooh, I've totally played the find the polygamist @ Wally's world. I was @ school @ Dixie back when the dinosaurs died.

Even my 8 yr old daughter can't stand Bieber. Now if I could only convince her that Miley Cyrus needs to grow up we might both be happy.

Amy N. said...

I've missed Conan. I love your celebrate interviews. Also, thanks for throwing Larry King in there. No punch line needed when he is included. Though I loved the Justin Beber line too.

Kristina P. said...

Dixie Mom, I'm glad I've helped you out to know the St. George culture.

Fragrant Liar said...

I needed a good laugh this morning, Kristina, so THANK YOU. Except for that dinosaur thing. I mean, one day you're going to have to lament the by-gone days of the Snuggie. D'oh! Did I say that? Heh.It's alright, I'm sure there'll be some petrified snuggies on display in your honor, somewhere. ;-)

And I'll be all over my Conan Man tonight! Long live the king!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

You really should have your own entertainment news show. I'd watch.

Also? I'm commenting before it got to 100. Wahoo!

fojoy said...

Excellent interview - I am still laughing!
Alos...we don't get TBS here my area, so I have to console myself with his hilarious commercials.

Lechelle said...

you crack me up!

and then I noticed that the picture of the sister wives looked familiar. So I did some checking and yep, I have a wedding picture in that exact same location at mellor hidden meadows. does this mean i should be expecting another wife to join my family soon?

Kristina P. said...

Lechelle, that is awesome! We should start doing Sister Wives tours, since I know where they live.

Karen Peterson said...

Yay for Conan!

If Miley ever DOES make a song that sounds good, I'm pretty sure it will be the last sign before the apocalypse.

The redhead said...

Oh how I miss Coco. Leno is a blithering, mumbling, unfunny, human being.

And I don't get cable so um, you sort of just wrecked my day.

Nothing a little Hoff can't fix though.

Rachel Sue said...

Wow, Kristina. You know a lot of celebrities. We are all so lucky to have you!

:)

Eva Gallant said...

Those were hilarious! I wish you had been speaking at the bootcamp in Philly.....St. George is just too far from Maine!

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm actually ready for Conan to get back on the air already so we can stop seeing the constant ads for it!

annie valentine said...

That was so stupid and so funny it made my milk come down. How do you do it? Can I come to that conference and learn from you?

Kristina P. said...

Well, I'll see if there's room for you, Annie.

Hope said...

My sister almost dressed up like Justin Bieber for Halloween. She showed me how she was going to style her hair. I shrieked. In fear.

blueviolet said...

The one about Justin Bieber about killed me!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Just plain ole funny! You rock!!!

Sarah T. said...

How are you so damn funny!

I love all of them. Poor Michael Bolton. LMAO!

Sarah T. said...

How are you so damn funny!

I love all of them. Poor Michael Bolton. LMAO!

ladyfi said...

Have fun at bootcamp!

This was absolutely hysterical!

Marilyn said...

I love you.
I really really love you.
I have to go wipe the coffee off of my keyboard now :)

Kelley said...

I loved those!! I especially loved "watching the dinosaurs die" and "woolly mammoth ride". Hahahahaaa! BTW, I wish I lived in Utah so I could steal your collection of Snuggies while you were off teaching people how to be better bloggers.

Melanie Jacobson said...

You can come to our house for our Welcome Back Conan party. We even watch in the nude, so you'll feel right at home.

Grand Pooba said...

Hahaha! I love that last one!

Dude, best blog example ever!

Melinda said...

I love Conan, I am SO STOKED!

I think this was your best celebrity interviews yet! Each one was as good or better than the last!

'In my pants...' Awesome.

AlliE said...

is it wrong to want to be invited to the Hoff's party??? :-P

Donna said...

Conan!! the countdown begins!
hope you do come to my blog, I have been stalking yours....

The Blonde Duck said...

You need your own show!

Danelle said...

I am cracking up in the middle of the student computer lab...welcome strange looks.

2busy said...

This was hilarious. Have fun looking out for those polygamists!
♥♥♥

lisleman said...

Utah is such a beautiful state with all the big parks and shirts with S.L. UT. on them.
Good interviewing of the stars and you covered all the way from Justin B. to Larry K. That's like a whole history book.

Kristina P. said...

I forgot about the SL,UT shirts! I need one.

Aunt of 14 said...

I don't want to be vulgar... but... is that a unicorn pooping cupcakes?!

Helena said...

You need a retweet button! This stuff needs to be shared.

Kris said...

I regret that I have never been to a party in the Hoff's pants.

Kristina P. said...

Kris, I'll send you an invitation.

Amber said...

I believe that Conan's commercials have been the most entertaining I've seen in awhile. It's nice to have him back.

I'm surprised Paris' most memorable gift was Gonorrhea. I thought for sure she appreciated chlamydia so much more.

foxy said...

You saved the very best for last. Awesome!

Hilary said...

You are just too funny. Hysterically so. :)

T said...

poor Barbara - watching the dinosaurs die would have been sad...

playing Spot the Polygamist at WalMart is WAY too easy... I suggest we all dress like Polygamists and latch on to one poor soul to see how crazy we can drive him.

I'd offer up ManOfTheHouse but he said no already... before I even suggested it... silly man.

Emily said...

Good luck! You are going to do so well! Can't wait to hear all about it. Oh, and these "ask the celebrity" posts are seriously my faves!

Sabrina said...

I love when you do these!!! So funny!! I think my favorite one was the Barbara Walters one!
FUNNY FUNNY STUFF GIRL!

sara said...

Have you seen the preview for the new Hassellhoff family reality show? I think of you everytime I see the hairy-chested baby.

*MARY* said...

Drooooooool....
I made that coco pic my screen saver. Good thing my husband has a crush on him too.
Can't wait to watch his new show... tomorrow morning on the internet because I don't have cable:(

HunDuddle Hussy said...

i wanted to go to the conference in st. george soooooooo badly. but oh well. have fun without me. wait, no dont.

c.e.l.i.n.a said...

I WISH bloggy boot camp wasnt this weekend.

If only, then I would be totally down there. I am however excited to learn more about unicorns being snuggies...I like that Idea.

Allyson & Jere said...

Most amusing!

If only bloggy bootcamp wasn't THIS weekend. Good hell it's a crazy one around here!

Good luck on your speaking. I don't need to tell you to have fun, 'cause, well, that's a given!

pook555 said...

LOL - I love the Hoff's quote!

Plus, a snuggie with a unicorn print would be the best :)

Dani said...

Conan looks like Mitchell from Modern Family in that picture.

slommler said...

Good luck with your speech...I know you will be terrific!!
And the Hoff would be thrilled with any party in his pants...even crabs!! Ha!
Fun interviews
Hugs
SueAnn

Erin said...

Oh, those celebrities and their cliche answers.

I have $100 to spend on my birthday, so I had to decide whether to go to the bootcamp or get presents. Texas Roadhouse and a pair of jeans that don't have holes in the knees won out this time. Have a fantastic time!

Kristina P. said...

Erin, I am so sad! I was so looking forward to seeing you!

Melissa said...

Always, always, always so clever! Thanks for the laugh - I needed it!

Janet said...

Yay! for the return of Conan.
And good luck whipping those bloggers into shape at bootcamp!

mintifresh said...

Totally diggin the unicorn blog! I'd read that!

Those interviews were better than any of Barbs Oscar interviews. Brought tears to me eyes.

Lara said...

Good one! Barbara Walter + Dinosaurs = Awesome!

veronica said...

Poor, sad, girly Justin Beiber. If Santa grants that wish his career is over.

Barbaloot said...

To Veronica---let's hope then, that Santa DOES grant his wish. I could live happily never hearing about Justin Beiber again.

Is it weird that I do find Conan kinda sexy?

Kristina P. said...

Barb, not crazy. I think he is too. Funny = Sexy.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Conan ... YEAHH!!!

And how on earth did you get sound bites from all those famous people? Man, you sure have the connections.

The Boob Nazi said...

I love these!

Scrappy Girl said...

We saw Conan in NYC during his last season. He is so tall and skinny with a really big head...kinda like a bobblehead.

I love that you included David Cook...I am impatiently waiting on his new music.

Crafty Christina said...

I nearly choked when I read The Hoff's. Oh Hoff... why do you traumatize me?

Connie said...

Conan O'Brien - not the funniest man on TV. You, Kristina, should be on TV! I'd watch you every night or early morning or whenever!

Megs said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for my Monday medicine :)

messina said...

I've always wanted to learn how to properly snort cocaine off of a hooker, so I hope Charlie Sheen will adopt me.

messina said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh. A naked unicorn. In my pants.

Wonder Woman said...

Yay for Conan! setting the DVR now...

love this.

Deb said...

Staying up for Conan tonight. Very excited. Can no longer write in complete sentences. Tired.

Mikki said...

So funny. I particularly liked the Justin Bieber, Barbara Walters and Charlie Sheen interviews.

I so wish I could be in St. George this weekend. Hope it's tons of fun for everyone. How could it not be with you and DeNae?

Anna See said...

How do you come up with this stuff? You crack me up!

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Your Bieber quote was the best.

myimaginaryblog said...

This post is such a great reminder of all that I have to be thankful for.

Kristina P. said...

Zina, I have to admit, I am a bit disappointed by your terse comment. I always look forward to your vociferousness.

Deanna said...

I will watch Conan.
Me and the Mister are still rolling around on the floor ...Woolly Mammoth!!!! Bwah hahahahahah!

Brandy said...

You should do celeb interviews weekly. I LOVE THEM.

Sandra said...

You are and will continue to be the Queen of Brilliance, Laughter, and Fabulousness...'cept don't hate the Kody-meister. He's kind of like the equivalent of your Hoff, except with more wives.
I so wish I could go see you speak. You could get me a ticket, but it's the airfare and the accomodations that would really help me out :)

Keersten said...

Classic. Even my husband had to read over my shoulder after hearing all of my snickering.

YogaGal in the NW said...

Can I snort cocaine off of a woolly mammoth... that would be so cool!

Kristina,

Thanks so much for offering to help my friend Sarah. I wrote you back on my blog.

GIANT HUGS TO YOU!!!!

Jan

Jessica G. said...

I didn't know Susan Sarandon could bake! You're blog is nothing if not educational.

Mel Fraase said...

I love these!! Also, secretly in love with Conan... those commercials did not help, even if they were supposed to be funny.

Boy Mom said...

I really want my blog to be as unicornilicious as yours how much are those tickets???

Love the celeb interviews, no one
but you could make Barbara squeeze out an ancient tear. You're amazing!

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

these are my favorite! Love the ones about Babs and Justin Bieber - made me laugh out loud!

Salt said...

It's like you had me in mind when you designed that sample blog. I so wish I could come listen to you speak!

Kristina P. said...

Boy Mom, are you really interested? I can get you a discount ticket.

Amanda Joy said...

Hilarious. My mom made us listen to Michael Bolton growing up, I tried at everyturn to boycott him. I have also done everything in my power to boycott Miley, because I can't handle developing an eye twitch right now:)

Liza said...

Conan was hilarious last night! He's still got it.

Kristina P. said...

Liza, he definitely didn't disappoint.

Donna said...

Funny! You are way better than Perez Hilton and others I've read!
Good luck with your speech this weekend!

Jessica B said...

LOL -- hysterical!!
Good luck at bloggy bootcamp! :)

Jennifer Richins said...

Some day I hope to know as many celebrities as you so I can interview them on a whim.

Have fun at bootcamp.

Synergy Girl said...

Okay, that was just REFRESHING!!! and SOOOO true!!! BY THE WAY...have you SEEN the new snuggie commercial?? There's new colors, new prints...and a...SONG...GASP...

Finally, I dedicate the poop to you and your funniness!!

Amander said...

I'm fairly certain Justin Beiber would NOT want that, because then he'll have to produce music that doesn't just appeal to tweens.

And also, as for the Miley comment, I think you are forgetting about a little song called "Party in the USA." Genius. Pure genius.

CK said...

Oh, I wish I could go see your talk at the conference!!!!

Kendahl, Stepmom Extraordinaire said...

Conan's commercials are pretty dang funny. I don't typically watch TV but may try to catch some of him. He's funny!

Missy said...

You have outdone yourself! This is THE BEST post!!!!

Kristin said...

Does Bieber really want that? How would he make his money?

Debbie said...

Ha! Love these.
How do you get access to these celebrities? I know you aren't sleeping with them because Bieber is on this list.

Ash said...

you should get paid to post these funnies up. :)

thanks for the laugh!

carma said...

Stellar post as usual. Can't wait to hear how your presentation goes. And most importantly, Sara Bareilles makes me feel better about my nose.

Bonnie the Boss said...

That first wooly mammoth ride must have ben something else!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Katie said...

Woolly mammoth and watching the dinosaurs die...how do you come up with this!?!

TaraBeara said...

A pants party is always the best kind of course!

Too funny!

Jen said...

I don't know why you don't have a contract with People already.

Crystal Escobar said...

Hilarious! My favorite is the Paris Hilton one. Oh and the "unicorns are people too" loved that.

Terresa said...

This post made me laugh so hard, I cried, and then snorted. Thankfully, Charlie Sheen wasn't around.

:)

Lene said...

So funny...

heather said...

could you be any funnier! I love this celebrity round up. how do you come up with them. I am still dying over the justin bieber one!!

Charlotte said...

It's like you read their minds!

Tiffany said...

Im cracking up!! and Poor michael bolton :(

Kristina P. said...

Terresa, you would be in good company.

charrette said...

SO JEALOUS you get to hang out with DeNae at the bootcamp!

Stacy Uncorked said...

HI-Larious! :)

Kristina P. said...

Charette, don't you mean you should be jealous of DeNae that she gets to hang out with *me*? :)

drollgirl said...

BWAHAHAHAH!!!!!! i can't top this! i am trying to, and i just can't!

H.K. said...

I wish I could go see you speak at the bloggers conference! It would have been fun, but the calendar is already full- I'll just have to wait until next year! Can't wait to hear about it!

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! "testicles to drop..." I still can't get over that one!!! Ohhhhhh dude, those were funny! And I SOOOOOOOOO wish I was going to St. George to see you speak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jackie said...

Demi Moore looks fantastic in that shot, doesn't she?

Have a great weekend!

wendy said...

Of course, I am wishing I could be at the Bloggy boot camp!!!
I love horney horses.

those interviews are GREAT. I am so glad the Hoff's best parties are...in his pants. (ewww,ick)


and hey, I am coming to Utah Nov. 16....I am having a little Open House at my daughters in West Jordan for any bloggy friends who might be able to drop by
NOVEMBER 30....at 7:00
I'd love to see you.
I'll be posting about it.

ModernMom said...

LOL Poor Justin

amy said...

I'm so sad I'm not going to the conference this weekend. You're going to be awesome. Have a wonderful time and I can't wait to hear all about it next week.

the Lola Letters said...

Yay! I so love me some celebrity interviews...

honeypiehorse said...

OMG I almost choked to death about the Barbara Walters comment. Too funny!

TechnoBabe said...

It takes me so long to get through your comments so I can write my comment that I forget what I was going to say! Dang. It was probably going to be profound.